Monday, 28 May 2012

Fifty Fathoms Below



From Oman, cast a glance westwards, toward the sinking sun. The ‘Empty Quarter’ skirts the Gulf of Aden, on to Eritrea, and adjacent; The Afar Triangle. It occupies the northernmost point of the Great Rift Valley and, one day; it will be the last piece of land to detach as the Horn of Africa drifts from the mainland. Presently, a trinity of tectonic fissures clatter together beneath this ghostly wilderness. Their potent friction hollows out the deepest geological basin in Africa - 155m below the level of the oceans – the Danakil Depression. This is Lucy’s patch of earth. Her tomb of volcanic dregs became a cradle beneath the playing out of the vagaries of the ages. For millennia, mantle plumes would have gushed beneath her, forging potent magma chambers as they approached the surface. It would have been no better above ground, in the unstinting and searing miasma . An ordinary daily temperature of 41°C brands this expanse with the dubious title: ‘The hottest inhabited place on the planet'. 

Hot as Hades. Our convoy rolls several deep; three Afar policemen, brandishing rickety machine guns. A crew of five utility men, sharing driving, cooking and translating from Afar to Amharigna to English. And, of course, twelve faranjis or foreigners, or tourists. Not in the minority anymore; these desert bad lands imbue something foreign in every visitor. All of us alien, shuffling through the uttermost sanctuaries of the cruellest elements.





Sixteen hours of sluggish progress deposits us at the base of Erta Ale – translated plainly: ‘The Smoking Mountain’. Afar insinuations of ‘smoke,’ however, are manifold. “Many Ethiopians believe Hell exists beneath this mountain,” Negasi says diffidently, “and so do I”. Considering the dark mound in the distance, it isn’t difficult to imagine the sulphurous wrath that many may conjure from the same sight. Perhaps there is some progress in people appropriating a physical hell, something real to overcome the theory of an abundant yet unclear inferno, and the menace such thinking disseminates.

We begin our ascent at 6pm. Hot as Hades. It’s a miscellaneous band, tussling with the dense air overhead and the ragged basalt underfoot. Everyone equipped with a torch, lighting their modest yet pioneering path through the blazing darkness. The fossilised lava is frail; it breaks off too easily, the disappointing remnants of its erstwhile, passionate form. The crumbling of the charred fragments release surges of an unsettling sulphuric scent. It is true; a threatening smell provokes the olfactory facilities to supersede all others. The odours mist over the eyes, clamour at the ears and infiltrate the gut, as though they are laying claim to these strange figures that slog towards the smouldering originator. Who, for her part, writhes and seethes beneath, as she has always done. Nonetheless, the only disclosure for those who venture a glance aloft; the coy, crimson afterglow.



48 hours of expectancy and the moment is upon us. Unceremonious, one more flaky footstep – like any other – and, then, that vertiginous jolt through the torso. She requires no flourishing of trumpets, baulks at decorous formalities. The twelve newcomers, on the verge for the first time, are bound only by their silence. Privately, each person’s response is peculiar. Some drift unwittingly from the group, seeming to seek out isolation. Others stand back and advance once more, desperately trying to reconstruct that original tremble. The ones who reach for their cameras appear to be postponing the reality of the encounter. It is as though capturing a version of the turmoil below will quantify it, fortify them for the inevitable, when, barefaced, they must confront the churning chasm. This time, armed onlyw ith tragic empathy for themselves and their own impermanence. 

From where, then, does this half-urge surface, taunting me to take a running leap and bomb-drop right into the middle of Erta Ale. What a grisly confliction of biology; ignoring the determination of all my bodily filaments’ to endure, I just can’t help thinking, ‘what a breath-taking jump that would be’. I ask Manuela, the very sensible Italian, if she harbours a similar craving. She does. We give each other a wide berth, both speculating the other may try it by proxy. I have heard of people experiencing similar impulses on vertical cliffs. I don’t go along with any existential explanation. More likely, it is just some untamed slice of the brain, spoiling for a bit of adrenaline.
We sleep well away from the marauding vapours of carbon dioxide. The forgiving soil. Beside the Afar sentry, who nuzzles his rifle while he fitfully rests, I can only sense the great oozing below us. Erta Ale turns out to be the watchful outlet of something farther down. It is the disorder that frightens us, who know nothing of the contorted beginnings of such substances.  


Yet, we are mindful of the ground. It is solid. This is necessary. So that we may stand on something, name it, live off it; the smelted sap must run deep. It bleeds through the strata, coaxing the very nerves of the earth. The bodies around me, longing for sleep, reach out for fugitive threads of oxygen. There is a harmony in their respiring, hopeful cadences. Clusters of the firmament are drawn downwards, through their lungs, and continue, passing through the legion ruptures of the land. From their high place they plunge into the acrid innards of the old orb. ‘This is how things are arranged’ – their unyielding concession.

Sunday, 20 May 2012

The Return of the Fleas


                                              Of blood bereft, they scuttled great lengths,
          to crouch, disguised, in nooks and clefts.
          From sandy pits did most appear
          The rest: they were already there
          Holding a vigil in their Sunday best.

          And, when their host assumed a state of rest
          A high-ranking member, from his fabric lair,
          did reach
          with restless legs into the air and performed
          a ghastly, yet moving, flea-speech.

          In short: “Graze!” – was his instruction.

          But, hark, who goes there!
          Tagging along in my underwear.
          With all your grace, I beg!
          Watch over my waist.
          For who better to thwart my tormentors
          Than a ladybird. Beautiful annihilator.


The midriff and wrists: battered.

She sits to the left of the tag
  

Saturday, 19 May 2012

Undesirables



Claire McAlpine; sister of David, daughter of Helen, answers to nobody: write for the blog.
Her experiences with us in Ghana make for some mesmerising non-fiction. Enjoy.


When Scott first approached me to write a guest blog about my brief foray to Ghana, I had carefully considered how best I might go about this. I am an Anthropology student at the University of Edinburgh; I thought perhaps I could tie my studies in to what I experienced: maybe I could display my academic know-how and discuss such concerns as the gender divide in Africa, the symbolic structures of Christianity within Ghana or (a personal favourite) the implications of tribal heterogeneity on African politics. After all, I thought, this is my area of expertise. I am sure I could make numerous anthropological references and create a sterling and robust essay in the vein of what I am likely to submit at the end of term.

However, when Scott messaged me, I realised what he wanted was something slightly less obtuse, and a lot less dignified.  “Offer still stands for a guest article on my blog f you have time after exams.” he began. “I think the subject matter you created out there should work well.”

Now, the “subject matter I created” could only reference one thing, since I didn’t really create much of it. Scott and my brother David had already been through North and West Africa and I more or less refrained from altering their plans or decisions -they were now more adept at negotiating the area than I. So I hung back, I ate what I was given- mostly yams, beans, assorted stews packed with chilli, all off the side of the road. I stood back as they got their elbows out to bargain for tro-tros. I didn’t even yell at people when they started clinging onto my arm, insisting, “abroni, abroni, I give you good deal, 10 cedis taxi to airport. Abroni! Are you from America?” Yes indeed, since my holiday was so brief and I had to return to Edinburgh for exams, I largely left the nitty gritty to the two hairy tanned men that I trailed after. So the “subject matter I created” could only have been one particular incident: one that completely, and very publicly, decimated any dignity I may have had; and undoubtedly one of the most embarrassing incidents of my entire life. I implore you to read on at your peril, preferably if you do not know me.

Now, as you may have inferred from the above description of a typical Ghanaian menu: the food is unkind to western stomachs. Particularly one that has been pampered with reams of nanny-state British fair: organic this, obsessively sanitised that. The onslaught of tropical vegetables, stews and chilli dishes, mostly lovingly prepared next to open sewerage, can well be imagined to have disagreed with a stomach largely adjusted to a student diet of muesli and fish fingers. But the timing was my greatest downfall.

As I sheepishly smoked a cigarette outside the ladies’ toilet while I waited for a long tro-tro journey from Hohoe to Accra, I realised that my stomach was growling uncomfortably from the Ghanaian cuisine of the previous night. I then realised that this toilet would now serve a purpose other than shielding me from the castigation of the fiercely anti-smoking locals. Nipping in vacantly, I noticed it wasn’t a “toilet” per se- as much as a room without a roof, and with a small step leading down into two drains. I knew this was not an ideal place to expel the wache stew from last night, but realising my cramps were not amenable to a 5 hour tro-tro journey, I decided to go ahead anyways. A toilet, I thought, was a toilet.

I have since learned that this is not the case.

I then returned to the tro-tro and briefly told my two travel companions that I had possibly made a mistake in assuming that all toilets serve a dual purpose, to which they laughed but didn’t really show much concern. I then took out a book in the seat behind Scott as my brother went off rummaging for some more banku and beans. About 20 minutes later, an enraged face appeared at Scott’s window. Sweat dripping from his massive biceps, pectorals bulging through his purple wifebeater, he bellowed, “Your sistah take shit in the urinal.”

 My heart sank. My face went red. And I briefly considered racing to the front and frantically stomping on the accelerator until, several flat goats later, we were somewhere far from Hohoe. But alas, I just sat there, frozen with shame, wishing the rips in the dusty leather seats were just that much bigger so I could be swallowed up by the foam, even though it had been saturated with untold quantities of groin sweat.

Scott, though visibly flummoxed, responded calmly. “What?”

“Your sistah,” he repeated. “Take shit in the urinal.”

I must have been a vivid hue of scarlet by this stage. Not only did I just deposit a grim delight on the floor of some poor person’s bog, but now Scott was taking the hit.

In my shame I decided to start shouting French at the man. “Parlez vou Francais? Monseur! Oui, oui”!” I thought this was very clever. I will pretend I don’t speak English, I thought. It worked for Scott and Dave at the Mauritanian border so maybe it will work here! Realising I had now shouted the sum total of my French at this man, I switched to Spanish, shouting whatever nonsense came to mind. “Si! Senor! No hablo Ingles! Donde esta el Stacion?” Eventually realising I didn’t know much of that either and then began speaking Afrikaans.

When David returned, he found half the village engulfing the tro-tro, whilst the man with the purple wifebeater had clambered over to the door and was threatening to punch Scott in the jaw whilst I yelled periodically in a colourful array of languages. The man was bellowing to everyone in earshot, in English and Ghanaian, that this cowering abroni had deposited an unhygienic souvenir on top of his drain. David was swiftly enlightened as to what had transpired as he calmly dined on Ghana’s finest street food.

“Hey,” he said to this man, who was now foaming at the mouth. “There is no need to be so nasty to tourists, we bring money into your country and this is how you treat us?”
“Fuck you!” he replied.
“What?”
“Fuck you!”
“No, I’m not dealing with this man anymore, please take him away!”
At the insistence of an old man who had been accompanying the butch hell raiser, a group of his cronies ushered away this quivering wreck of a man, leaving behind the bearded grandpa with a twinkle in his eye.
“You talk to me, we sort this out,” he said to David.
No one had really addressed me at this point, which I was happy with. I congratulated my rudimentary selection of bastard languages. He sighed and obliged, disappearing with this wiley silver fox behind the tro-tro. When he returned, he informed me he was now 2 cedis (about 80p, or R10) poorer. The old man had essentially bribed us to clean up the crudely erected stall in which I had chosen to do the deed.

“Now,” he said when he got back, and repeated endlessly for the rest of the trip, “please learn the difference between a long drop and a urinal before you completely impoverish us.”

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

Highlands of Ethiopia


Ethiopia is very high. The terrain is rough, with sharp projections.  All the would-be Abyssinian occupiers, through the ages, have found these two things very challenging.  The third, and insurmountable peril for any imperialist: people. Unfortunately, and, not only in glossy guidebooks, the solitary history of the Ethiopian people takes expression in ghastly clichés: unique, defiant, single-minded. Let it simply be said, if people had designs on subjugation, Ethiopians were quick to stich them up. They even sent the gun-wielding spags packing with only a ragtag horde of camels and highland mules. And, yes, there is a feeling of being surrounded by a populace (80 million) who are not particularly interested in you. Conversation can be found, help can be sought, but no gratuitous smiling, zero empathy for the clearly bamboozled traveller. Ideal conditions.

So: Lalibela. Formerly, Roha. There are another two towns in the region – Gonder and Shire. Tolkien devotees, seems your man wasn’t so original after all. And, once more, were it not for the overly treacherous landscape, Ethiopia would have trounced New Zealand as a film location for the Trilogy.   
But, Lalibela. In the 12th century, King Lalibela, named for some bees that swarmed him as a child, was at the apex of his power. He had the astonishing idea to hew churches from rock. This meant finding a monstrous rock and sculpting a church out of it – including a finely chiselled interior. Occasionally, I could picture Lalibela strolling the brownish highlands, actually seeing the finished product inside some giant boulder and delivering the order to his long suffering subject: “start chipping.” Regarding these logistics, science and culture diverge at this point. There is still a strong religious and cultural opinion for some kind of divine intervention in the rendering of these fiercely intricate structures. Academics put the workforce required, allegedly in 23 years, for such a project to be upwards of 40 000. As history has shown, the great feats of construction towered skywards on the shoulders of slaves. But there is one element that confounds when surveying the churches: craftsmanship. Symmetry, intricacy of interior design, the knowledge that one inch of error at the beginning would derail the entire structure on completion. And, no going back. Once, four walls are carved over years and you find out the doorframe doesn’t quite match up – no going back. And, there is simply no evidence of any error. The whole operation is flawless; surely confirming that this was the work of many and diversely skilled people. Not your average makeup of a band of slaves.

So, there seem to have been some wilful participants in this grand operation. In the name and for the lofty service of the Lord, perhaps; to fashion a legacy that really would stand for centuries; or maybe, spurred by that great human distinguisher, curiosity. Maybe Lalibela just wanted to see if it could be done. And, so artful and improbable was the doing, that Saint George himself – a frequent visitor – blurted out: “Majestic, Lalibela, majestic. But, where is mine”.

And today, if you finish the day with the Southern cluster of churches, you will come to a large flat rock on the edge of the valley. As furrow upon furrow of the misty blue highlands break free before you, there is a strangely symmetrical chasm. A good eighty metres in length and breadth and hollowed out to a depth of eleven metres. And, inside, you will behold Bet Giorgyis (House of George), the remaining rock that has actually been moulded into the shape of a crucifix, inside and out. Gazing down, and, in spite of myself, I had to agree with the guidebook: were these rock churches hewn in some other, more accessible tract of the earth, they would surely be one of the great wonders and famous the world over. Thank goodness they weren’t. Although, I couldn’t help but feel in a state of wonder for most of my time, deep in these stone furrows. Apart from the honour, St. George must have had a twinge of envy. And, who wouldn’t, for so many secrets are yet to be carved from the boulders of Lalibela. Yet, the people carry on, above, like everything is just fine. Occasionally, though, the elderly will hold your gaze for what feels a moment too long. Knowingly.


Tuesday, 1 May 2012

West Africa Roundup

So: that's it. Seventeen weeks ago, we gingerly stepped out of the
Casablanca train station into some dismal rain. Tonight, reluctant salvoes
of thunder sound over Accra and the rain struggles through the thick air
onto our Salvation Army dormitory. I think it may have rained twice in
between these two outpourings. I used to believe in portentous things, but,
no longer. This is probably just a sign that we didn't choose the rainy
season to traverse one of the hottest regions on earth. Some memories will
crystallise, others may alter entirely.

The days will put a distance between us; West Africa and I. For the most part, she has reminded me how much I have forgotten; French, dealing kindly but firmly with harlots,
reconciling the lottery of different peoples' lot in life. What I can say I
will take with me is the skill of brevity. Not because it is abundant,
rather because it is the one thing needed. From the grandest overtures to
the lowliest chores, let them be brief in Africa. For, how else can we hope
to extract the real feelings of things if they are anything more than
fleeting..

As she did not mark our arrival, so shall she be similarly aloof as we take
our leave. Yet, somewhere in the midst of the wailing, tinkering landscape,
there may be someone who is smiling, as they remember the antics of two le
blancs on their southern foray.

And, for my part, that is more than I could
hope to leave with those who dwell in these lands of the setting sun.

Below is the motion version of the West Africa leg! Max volume suggested. Pass on to anyone and everyone!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yl6Qay9NTJI
                                                                            THE WAY



Some Numbers

Monies raised to date: R20,100
Mileage: 10,148kms
Time on the road: 17 weeks
Modes of transport used: 13 (Car, Bus, Sept plus taxi, train, minibus, bush taxi, donkey cart, horse cart, cattle cart, pirogue, camel, bicycle, moped)
Countries visited: 6. Morocco, Mauritania, Senegal, Mali, Burkina Faso, Ghana.
Occupied territories visited: 1. Western Sahara.
Countries in rebel hands on our departure: 1. Mali
Countries hanging in the balance despite our departure: 5
Names called: My friend, toubab, toubaboo, le blanc, le blanche, playboy, French military, Tellem, Texan, obruni, yova, asshole
Evangelicals accosted by: 6
Known convertees: 1
Proficiency of handling local transport:
a)      Before arrival of our mothers: 91%
b)      After arrival of our mothers: 17%